Imagine being in high school and getting to hear Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. speak. My podcast guest, Belvie Rooks of Growing a Global Heart, shared how this interaction at a youth conference brought her from despair towards hope and became a seed for her work in the world. I found what happened after the gathering to have some important lessons for our times. She shared this:

“What really just broke our hearts open was when he said, very passionately, how happy he was to know us and how important our voices were. The most important thing he said was that “he could trust us, and that he could trust us to love a better world into existence.”

And when he sat down, there 400 young people at this conference, we were on our feet. We were yelling, clapping, we were crying. “

It wasn’t just what he said, it was the whole gathering. She said:

“It introduced me to other young people, because there’s nothing like young people who found each other and a purpose.”

What happened after that gathering was crucial in nourishing that seed. The youth didn’t want to get on the bus home, they were so bonded. In response, when they did get back home, the Quaker adults who had organized the conference, set up a monthly youth group. Belvie said:

“I think that’s where I learned to listen deeply…And I learned that it was safe to be vulnerable. It was safe to speak our truth. It was safe to speak our fears. And we became like a little family. I realized now what a profound and lasting impact. I learned what it means to have adults have a commitment to the next generation and creating programs that would allow us to bridge where we were in our lives and where we would be heading.”

Holding this kind of caring space for listening, where people of different generations can connect and strengthen their aspirations and actions, has been a core theme of Belvie’s work over decades.

What I find compelling in the youth conference story is that often we create gatherings and bring people together to have a profound experience. We get a great speaker and get people together and inspired. And then we’re done. We don’t follow through and provide that ongoing container to take the “coming together” movement and group experience back into your lives over time. 

In Belvie’s story, the hosts were responsive in building off the spark of the youth conference and then offering them an experience of being held in the safety of the group with the safety of the adults, as they were finding their way.

The US Surgeon General has recently been speaking about the high levels of loneliness and isolation in our communities, and the associated harmful consequences to health and well-being. Here are the pillars of a National Strategy to Advance Social Connection:

Pillar 1: Strengthen Social Infrastructure in Local Communities
Pillar 2: Enact Pro-Connection Public Policies
Pillar 3: Mobilize the Health Sector
Pillar 4: Reform Digital Environments
Pillar 5: Deepen our Knowledge
Pillar 6: Cultivate a Culture of Connection

If your organization hosts an annual conference or gathering, how might you expand your programs to include hosting ongoing peer-to-peer support and learning/practice spaces? How can you provide regular ways for people to connect and deepen relationships? This blog, Conversations Connect Across Siloes and this resource page may give you ideas.

I hope you’ll listen to the full episode of the podcast, where Belvie shares about an educational program she developed for young people dealing with urban violence to expand their sense of identity and purpose by seeing themselves within the larger story of the universe’ evolution. We also explore an incredible story of how she and her husband Dedan confronted the reality of what their enslaved African ancestors endured led to the powerful question of “What would healing look like?” Part 2 of the podcast lands next week, following the seeds that grew from their work.

The Living Love podcast explores stories of how healthy communities and relationships can bring out the best in people and change destructive patterns. We glean what works to give you ideas you can apply in your context. You can find all the episodes here with links to subscribe and listen on the podcast platform of your choice.